I'm sitting by candlelight, tea and traditional Christmas music, reviewing my own year, and wondering what I'd like to share with you at the end of the year, and for the coming New Year ...
The year 2018 brought a lot of clarification for me, as well as a professional and personal upswing, as my psychological consulting focus has become increasingly clear based on the experiences of recent years. This year I was particularly impressed by a meeting with a medicine specialist in early summer and the completion of TBRI Practitioner training in Texas this summer and fall (Trust Based Relational Intervention: A therapeutic model for parents and caregivers of children with attachment difficulties and developmental trauma). I am very grateful for that.
On the one hand, I now offer psychological online counseling for people who are looking for advice in stressful situations, burnout-like conditions, fears or with regards to relationship, decision-making or conflict issues.
On the other hand, I advise parents on an online basis: Couples with unfulfilled child wish, but especially adoptive and foster parents. My personal interest and my passion lie mainly in the areas of developmental trauma and fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS, FASD) of adoptive and foster children, and it is very important for me during the online counseling sessions, to offer relief talks to the parents (but also to involved persons), so that they can regain their strength for the often stressful everyday life.
The stressful everyday life is a good keyword, here I would like to stay a little.
Everyday life, but especially the upcoming holidays, can mean pure stress for children with early traumatization or disability due to alcohol exposure in the womb: Holiday itself (meaning absence of school or kindergarten), changed daily routines and routines, visits of relatives or friends, changed eating habits or different food, less movement, anticipation, excitement and impatience for Santa's arrival, unpredictability, emotional situations and overstimulation can therefore lead for example to increased or uncontrolled outbursts of anger, tantrums, meltdowns... even though parents have given their best to organize a nice Christmas day.
Everyday life, but especially the upcoming holidays, can mean pure stress for children with early traumatization or disability due to alcohol exposure in the womb: Holiday itself (meaning absence of school or kindergarten), changed daily routines and routines, visits of relatives or friends, changed eating habits or different food, less movement, anticipation, excitement and impatience for Santa's arrival, unpredictability, emotional situations and overstimulation can therefore lead for example to increased or uncontrolled outbursts of anger, tantrums, meltdowns... even though parents have given their best to organize a nice Christmas day.
Here, it is essential to set down one´s expectations, because living together with a person affected by a handicap or brain impairment means, above all, to switch back several gears, and not to be infected by the general holiday hustle, or even to compare with other families. Sandwiches or frozen pizza may therefore be totally fine to be served on Christmas day.
Do not be afraid to make your life easier and more relaxed, and therefore more open to the needs of your traumatized child: Those parents who are able to shut down their own stress can regulate themselves better, and therefore better take over emotional regulation of their impaired child - which is what these children urgently need on special days like the coming ones.
Less is more, otherwise it can easily lead to disappointment due to high expectations. Of course, this does not only apply to adoptive and foster families who have welcomed a child from a hard place or a child affected by fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS), but also to those who suffer from stress, burnout, anxiety or self-doubt.
A good way to lower expectations is to pause and look at the moment instead of always making new plans and goals to be achieved. Do not always look at the big picture (which may not have worked so well in the past), but divide it into steps, and see the little one: become a master in celebrating little things - even if they are so tiny! Because even tiny moments contribute to the long-term development, and can give wings ...
I wish you a relaxed Christmas, and all the best, happiness, gratitude, satisfaction and wings for 2019!
If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it., and we can discuss your personal concerns in the context of a psychological online consultation. I look forward to meeting you!
P.S.: In 2019, in addition to online psychological counseling, I will also offer diagnosis of fetal alcohol spectrum disorder (FASD) in Austria at a location in Vienna together with a team of medicine specialist and nurse. Furthermore, lectures or seminars on developmental trauma and fetal alcohol syndrome are planned, as well as effects of impaired executive functions on learning and emotions.
If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it., and we can discuss your personal concerns in the context of a psychological online consultation. I look forward to meeting you!
P.S.: In 2019, in addition to online psychological counseling, I will also offer diagnosis of fetal alcohol spectrum disorder (FASD) in Austria at a location in Vienna together with a team of medicine specialist and nurse. Furthermore, lectures or seminars on developmental trauma and fetal alcohol syndrome are planned, as well as effects of impaired executive functions on learning and emotions.